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... everything's great, awesome, just .... perfect.
this is exactly why i refuse to get closer to another person cuz i really don't know who to trust anymore >< i put so much faith in someone, and i end up getting disappointed/getting my heartbroken. apparently there are spies everywhere... [[why do i feel so paranoid?]] i feel like i can only trust one person... & i'd hate to put her in a horrible disposition.
why can't ppl just mature? srsly, you keep stressing over things way too much. Just take your head out of your ass wake up to reality. is that so hard to do? and stop crying to ppl and asking them what to do. you're the one who's making the decision anyway. so stop asking ppl for advice if you're not even gonna listen to them -.-
why can't ppl just forgive and forget? yes ppl hurt you and you've been through so much... but stop trash talking them cuz you're just gonna turn out to be like those ppl you abhor. and i thought that's what you've been trying to avoid all this time. you keep saying that you've outgrown immaturity by undergoing these experiences but i don't think you've officially done so until you actually just let it go and move on. it's over, it's done. there's really nothing you can do about it. one thing's for sure, insulting them/bashing them??? doesn't make you the stronger person that you consider yourself to be. HONESTLY. it only masks the insecurities you feel about yourself.
(i know what you're thinking, i'm a hypocrite for saying that. but i truly know the kind of person i am. i'm weak. i'm a bad judgment of ppl. i trust ppl way too easily and after i find out that they've taken advantage of my trust, i talk about them behind their backs. in some aspects, i talk about ppl partly because of jealousy, okay i admit. but it's also because ppl are fucking douche bags/whores/!@#$%^&* with a fugly personality and i can't comprehend how these ppl treat other ppl like shit. but after all that i've went through, i don't feel that i've completely diverged from my flaws. i can guarantee seeing myself in this kind of situation, although far worse than now. but i fully recognize that the world is a cruel place. and i haven't seen the wrath of it yet and i don't think i'm prepared to face it).
i guess my expectations for the ppl in this generation (including myself) are just too high. FACE IT, everything's just going downhill from here on out.


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